It's toxic! Sarcasm, finger-pointing, and irony are like throwing stones at your partner. The difference is that stones hurt and leave marks on the skin, causing a visible wound, but sarcasm hits the inside and always hits the mark. If we throw a stone, we might miss, but if we make a cheesy comment, it always hits, and it hurts, it hurts a lot, and it takes a long time to heal. It takes much longer to heal than a wound on the skin.
And they accumulate, one on top of the other, they hardly heal because these words are an opinion, it's as if we were telling ourselves in a very summarized and quick (and even instinctive) way our opinion about a certain subject that concerns a person, or in relation to the person themselves.
Sarcasm causes wounds, and deep ones if they are recurrent. Talking is easy, and that's why hurting is so easy.
We don't need to make an effort to pick up a stone or a pebble or throw something heavy at someone, no! If we want to hurt someone, we just have to open our mouths and say something stupid.
And saying something stupid, whether true or false, because even lies hurt. Perhaps those are the ones that hurt the most, because in addition to feeling the harsh words, we also have to deal with the injustice of someone who sees everything wrong, or who doesn't want to understand anything.
And then, to unjustly say something, which is also a lie, is only with the objective of hurting.
What are the effects that too much sarcasm has on a relationship? Whether it's a romantic relationship, or a parent/child relationship, it doesn't matter... the words accumulate and sooner or later end up causing heavier suffering and over time will degrade the relationship.
Inevitably, they will cause some kind of estrangement and worse... it can lead to resentment and can even turn against us, that is, the words we send so often end up turning against us, or that person leaves our lives.
Even if we speak impulsively and the words we said are a scene of the moment and we don't feel anything about it, it can still hurt, it can still have negative effects, even if it's not true, we said something that isn't true, we threw a phrase out of our mouths. No matter how much we apologize, it will also require healing time.
It's wise to carefully choose your words in a tense moment, because no matter who is right, both will end up hurt.
(photo by Vera Arsic from Pexels)