Short answer… bluntly… here they are:

  • Feelings
  • Get along
  • Each person must actively seek their joys in life

Maybe I'm not telling any secrets! In fact, of course I'm not! So why does a relationship become monotonous and unhappy?

Long answer… for those interested:

  • Feelings

I always have the feeling that this point is forgotten or at least relegated to the background. It is the base of the pyramid, the foundation of a couple and the family. Since Love is the most important thing, this may not be enough. In fact, if it is the only feeling that exists, it will certainly not be enough! Unfortunately, it doesn't depend on us, any feeling can cease to exist and a pyramid collapses, no matter how gigantic it may be. And we only realized it after we went looking for ourselves in the ruins.

We cannot allow ourselves to be dominated by the expectation of always living in the fire of passion, that is not possible, but in Love yes!   article suggestion: The difference between feelings and emotions  
  • Get along well

OK, OK! Okay... after all, there's no science to this about relationships... just state the obvious and let's go be happy! …and then why aren’t we?!

Have you ever really thought about what this means?! “Get along well”

The difference between the first secret and this one is that this one depends on us. It depends on us to respect the other, it depends on us to keep the flame lit, it depends on us that the other knows how we feel. It's not the other that depends on us... it's our relationship with him/her. It is in this secret that lies trust, loyalty, affection, respect, complicity, intimacy, and so many other things that make the interaction between two people pleasant or not. “We argue, but then everything’s fine”, no, it’s not! These are stones that accumulate in the shoe, making it heavier and more uncomfortable. These stones could be used to build a castle, but that is a romantic vision, because what they build is a wall! And what is this wall for? To protect themselves from further arguments. Arguments may not end a relationship, but they end Love. First there must be peace (included in the first secret), even if this peace is monotonous and brings some discouragement. But peace is also magical and a fertile ground from which new moments for two can be born at any moment.

 
  • Each person must actively seek out their joys in life

I would say this is THE real secret! Whoever loves living will receive love in return!

A couple should not just stand there looking at each other and pouring hearts over their heads. Each member of the couple must, individually, and if necessary independently, have the initiative to express themselves and bring to themselves the joy of living, realize their long-term dreams and live each day in their preferred way. You should not wait for someone else's stimulus, for an idea from someone else, for a suggestion from someone else.

Over time, the individual expression will transform into the expression of the couple, where both have an active voice in their own happiness that starts from their individuality.

If one of the couple's members does not look for (or is unable to look for) their joy in living, a frustration will grow in them that will be a slow poison and will affect the couple and even the entire family.

If everyone is at peace, they love who they are with and every day is a joy...

… this my friends, is being happy as a couple, being happy forever, is the secret in 3 parts!

    Image by Alejandro Tuzzi from Pixabay